Many people have strong opinions about the act of anal sex and the various reasons for this no-no attitude may be attributed to hygiene, a feeling of deviation and strong religious or political beliefs. Anal sex, however, can be enjoyable and be fulfilling to both partners, if done correctly, but always communicate with your partner before, during and after your first and subsequent anal sex sessions.

As the anal muscles are stronger than the vaginal muscles and consist of many nerve endings, many people believe it possesses the potential for sexual arousal. With the risk of pregnancy reduced (but not eliminated) it also provides a reasonably safe method of intercourse when performed unprotected i.e. without a condom. Yet, steps must be taken to ensure the practice of anal sex is clean, safe and pain free as much as possible.

Anal sex for men is more attractive than it is for women as stimulation of the prostate gland is more likely this way. For this reason, it is commonly referred to as the male G-spot.


• Prepare your partner for anal sex by using your fingers or tongue to stimulate the anus or sphincter first. Experiment with rimming (using the tongue around the anus), gentle penetration of your fingers/tongue or use a vibrator especially designed for anal sex to stimulate just inside the anal opening.

• When pleasuring your partner anally for the first or subsequent times, always proceed slowly and carefully. Whether you're on the receiving end or are penetrating your partner, take your time and be as gentle as you can.

• Buy yourself an Anal Sex Guidelines book or video to get really clued up about the act.

• Keep nails short and trim to avoid scratching the lining of the anus. This can be extremely painful!

• Try to relax as much as possible. I know this can be difficult at first, but the more you relax the less likely it will hurt. By following the first two tips above, you will find it easier to relax and you can then begin to enjoy anal play and penetration.

• Remember to communicate with your partner! Only proceed with anal sex and play if both of you are comfortable to do so.

Essential Tips for Anal Sex:

• Ample lubrication is a must. Even though the anus is stronger than the vagina it does not produce its own lubrication so does need additional lubrication to prevent friction and pain. Choose a lube especially designed for anal play (they're usually thick!) or try a spray that desensitises the anus or helps to relax it.
• Get used to the feel of anal sex by experimenting with various anal sex toys. It is possible to buy toys specifically designed for anal sex which includes vibrators and anal beads. Take your time and build things slowly remembering to keep listening to your partner's needs and worries.
• Remember to use a condom during anal sex especially if you intend to go from anal sex to vaginal intercourse in the same session. Use a new condom before you insert your penis into the vagina to prevent infection. Never use the same fingers or toys to stimulate the anus and then the vagina.
• If you use a toy for anal sex, make sure it has a flared base so you don't lose it up inside of yourself! Avoid the embarrassing trip to Casualty, if you can.

And, finally, here are some positions you can try during anal sex. Both beginner and the more advanced positions are included. Enjoy!

Good Positions for Beginners:

One of the keys to the success of anal sex is positioning. Whether you are ready to penetrate or are still in the early experimental stages, the position of you and your partner can make the whole experience more satisfying and comfortable.


This standard position, as for penetrative vaginal sex, is one of the best positions for beginners. The man (or giver) is on top and the partner is underneath. This allows the recipient to relax their anus sufficiently for good penetrative sex.

Side Anal

In this position, the receiver lies on their side with either their legs wide apart or one leg up towards their chest. The giver approaches from the rear and is able to have full access to the anal area.

Back Anal

The receiving partner should lie on their backs with their knees up. Place a pillow or folded blanket underneath the lower back or hips to enable easier penetration of the anus.

And For the More Advanced:


Kneel on all fours so that you are bent over bend over on your knees and your weight is supported by your arms. Place a pillow or folded blanket under your chest for additional comfort. Try to relax as much as possible as anal penetration will then be easier for both you and your partner. It will also be considerably less painful for the recipient. Your partner then penetrates you from behind.

Anal Drop

This particular position allows for better control for the receiver but it also causes the anus to involuntarily tighten, making penetration more difficult. In this case, the receiver is on top and the giver is underneath.